Unforetold Feelings
by MysticalTenshi17
Summary: Serena doesn't feel loved by her family. In fact they treat her like skum or at least that's what she thinks. No one loves her. She runs away, wanting to get away from it all. And who does she end up running to? Darien. But could he be the one to love her
1. Default Chapter

Unforetold Feelings  
By InnocentTenshi17 aka MysticalTenshi17  
  
Serena weeps on her pillow. Tears sliding down her face and onto the pillow. She feels so helpless. People say it's not good to keep things bottled up, but it's hard not to when she feels so unwanted. Even if she was to talk about her feelings, whom could she confide to understand and keep a low profile while helping her get through this? No one. If she was ever to tell someone, they would just think of her as weird. They'll think it's crazy talk and it's not as she said. She's just trying to get attention. But she's not. All she wants is to feel loved. Is that too much to ask? Is having your parents, the ones who created her, to love her unconditionally too much to ask? Besides she is their daughter, aren't they supposed to love her?  
* I wish I was never born. That will make everything perfect for them. They discourage my looks, my personality, everything! They don't care about me, they never did. All this time, they never did. I just feel like a low life, the scum of the earth. If that's what they felt about me in the first place, why did they have me. I bet without me they'll have their perfect children, the ones they have pictured having, Reeny and Sammie. I JUST wish I was never born or I was dead. It wouldn't matter to them, either way if I was dead or alive. They wouldn't have notice. All they care about are their babies, their PERFECT children. So what if I don't get good grades. I'm not perfect unlike them. But I do try. * All these thoughts crossed through her mind as she cried hugging the pillow against her, holding it for dear life. * I may not be perfect mom and dad, if you haven't forgotten I'm still human, YOUR daughter and do go through human emotion. Do you even know how it feels to be unwanted, like you were a mistake in the first place, but it's too late to fix it? Do you know how MUCH that hurts? You guys won't ever understand. I'm surprised you haven't gave away my room yet, but I bet Sammie and Reeny are fighting over it. No one in my family loves me. They don't even know what I'm going through; don't care and without even a second thought thrown me out if they had the chance which I doubt would be any later. Why must I go through this pain God! Why! Why! I don't deserve this; I'm a good person and deserve to be loved. * More tears came down her eyes as every thought struck heart like a hammer. *Why can't you accept me for who I am. In your eyes I'm a klutz and stupid. You tend to, like everyone else, think that you know me. Know everything about me and know what's crossing through my mind, but you're wrong. You don't know me at all. All those you think that I am might be true on the outside but not the inside. You don't even know that all this is going through my mind now. You don't know how much it hurts and how I always keep these feelings locked up. And as the time prolong its weight on my heart has grown apparently heavy. You and dad both and the rest of the people in the world, who thinks they know me, always misjudge me. Mom, the only reason I would always think of running away, but have never gone through with it was that I thought you and dad LOVE me. * A memory went through her mind of that faithful event.  
::flashback  
* No, I can't stand it anymore. I want to leave this world, but how? A seven year old Serena thought. She was running around the house looking for things to bring on her journey to a new life. She's at her parent's room and looked at everything for the last time, imprinting it into her memory. "goodbye" she whispered. She turned around but heard her parents coming, finding no where else to hide, she quickly ran towards the closet. Slid open the sliding doors and ran in and closed the door. It was dark.   
" Ken, look around she must be here," her mother panic.  
" Irene, calm down. She must be around, she's probably playing and would show up soon," he said in a calm voice, but inside he was as worried as she was.  
" Did you check the front porch," she asked, really worried.  
"Yes, honey."  
"Then where can she be. She can't have gone far"  
"Let's look around once more, ok"  
"Hurry!"  
Inside the closet she heard the whole conversation. * they truly do care* tears of joy slid down her face. Seeing her parents worried about her and actually care made her happy and loved.  
::end of flashback::  
*But that was along time ago. Time change and people change. They don't love me anymore.* Serena bit her lower lip attempting to stop cry. *That's it ! If they don't want me, FINE! they won't have to deal with me anymore.* She got up from her spot abruptly, grabbed her backpack and stuffed her things in it. All her necessity and her precious belongings. After assembling all her things, she flung the backpack over her shoulder and climbed out of her window. Once upon the ground she ran for her life, wanting to leave everything behind. She didn't know where she was going, but let her feet lead the way.  
  
Her feet led her to Darien's apartment. What am I doing here? Right about when she was about to turn and leave Darien opened his door. "Serena? To what do I owe this pleasure?" he asked half heartedly and half teasingly. But he stops on his tracks when he saw Serena's face. He knew something was wrong. " Serena what's wrong?" he asked full of concern. She turned around and replied, " maybe I should go." She turned and started to walk, but not very far as Darien stopped her in her tracks. His arms stretched out to block her from ever successfully get pass him and out. "Serena I know something is wrong, tell me, I'll do everything I can to help you," he persisted.   



	2. A Side Story of Unforetold Feelings- A S...

****

A Pain That Would Never Be Forgotten

By: MysticalTenshi17

AN: Hey, this is a side story to Unforetold Feelings. It's also about Serena and her family. And these are her thoughts. Remember, side story and it happens like all the other times with her thoughts and hurt feelings. This is way before she decided to runaway.

Why do I always get blamed for everything? That's the first thing that comes to their mind. Me. Whenever there is a problem or trouble, it's me, I did it, I did it. That's all they ever think about. "Serena is the one who did it."But not all of them are my fault. Just because of somethings I did wrong when I was young, doesn't mean that I would be a rebel and cause trouble and havoc now. I know better than that. But they blame me for life. Everything would be my fault to them, my family, relatives, everyone. They don't always have proof that I was the one, but they don't care. They believe it was me and said that," It has to be, I know her, she has to be the one. I could feel it." Well, they don't. All that is just talk. How would they know. There's no proof. And what if I was not even there. Would it still be my fault? To them, yeah. They have this notion stuck to them no matter what. It's not fair, it's not. And being the oldest doesn't help either. With that, it gives the more benefit and excuse to blame me because I am responsible since I'm the oldest. That's their theory.

Even when I'm trying to do something nice, they either ignore it or turn it against me. Why can't they approciate the things I do? Why must they criticize everything I do? Am I such a disappointment to them. Well, sorry if I'm not perfect. But I am human, you know. And I am learning. But what is there to learn? Learn to be rejected, hated, to feel ugly unfit to be even alive, like I am nothing. Nothing I do would ever make them feel at least a bit loving, thankful.I know I am not perfect, I could never be; unlike them, your perfect children. But I do at least deserve a little bit love, afterall I am your child, too. Your first child to be exact. 

Like my many failed attempts to be a good daughter to them, I woke up early today and did some of the chores for my mom. Such as cleaning and the laundry. But did she notice or give me one small appreciative smile. No. She woke up late in the afternoon, and came down to make lunch for us. I could of done that, too, if I knew how to cook. Or at least good. I'm not much of a chef, I know that. But I always wanted to learn, especially from her. Even so, she wouldn't bother to do anything with me. I went back up to my room to rest after lunch. I was really tired. I didn't exactly have enough sleep yesterday, since I stayed up late, really late. Then having to wake up around six, this morning, I was about to faint. As I was walking pass the living room to my room, the drier beeped. Sammy took the clothes out and started folding. Of course I had no intention to do anything but sleep right now. So went up to take a nap. I woke up about a couple of hours later and went downstairs to get a drink, and there she was. Seeing the first chance to yell at me, " Serena why didn't you help your brother with the laundry. You're so lazy, always moping around. Doing nothing, but sleep." That's it! I can't stand it. I have my pride afterall. Mother or not, but like she was. She never held me once in my entire life time, not even when I was a baby. She was never there when I star in my ballot or any of my other performances. Never was there when I rode my first bike, never there for any of the important events/occasion in my childhood. Never taken me to lessons. It was always me. Myself. "What! Mom!" I screamed, my anger enraged, "What do you call me today waking up so early in the morning and doing the laundry and cleaning, huh?" "Ha, you did no such thing." I can't believe it. I am going to explode. How could she! "I did." "Fine, even if you did, you were suppose to. It's your job to do some of the housework, afterall you're old enough and are oldest. And don't you dare smartmouth me. How dare you! Talking back to your mother." Talking back?!! Is defending myself, talking back? No way. And my job?!! Not even. She's the mother. I was the one who offered help. "I'm not!" "Why you!" she raised her hand at me and "SMACK" right on my cheek. I placed my over my cheek and looked at her square in the eye. There were no tears in my eyes now. I have endured much worse. I can't stand being there with her anymore. I ran up to my room, slam the door, and into my bed. I wanted to cry, but I wouldn't let myself. How could? No.

My dad walked in downstairs, I guess; cause I could hear them all the way up in my room. She's complaining about me again. I could catch some words. Like how could we have such a terrible daughter. She's lazy, and have such an attitude. And I could hear her reenactment of the whole incident. From the way she acted as me, she did make me sound like a snob ( a bitch ) I couldn't bear to hear the rest. I just layed my head on my pillow and hugged it closer. I bet my dad is believing it and adding to the conversation of complaints. From all the bad things I've done in the past and troubles I get into now sometimes, he sure hates me like mom. I'm sure.

If I'm such a burden to them, why don't they just throw me out. Kill me or put me up for adoption. I don't care anyomore. It's always the same. I hate this, feeling of being unwanted, hate, being criticized from my looks to the things I do. I hate it. Can't stand it anymore. I just want to disappear. Better yet, I wish my wish could come true. I wish I was never born. Why did they even have me, if they didn't want me in the first place. Am I some kind of toy. A toy they play with when it's new and nice, to their appeal, but get toss aside once they're bored and disappointing, not to their liking. 

Why God?! Is this suppose to be some kind of punishment? Why am I born into this kind of family? Why can't I be in a family like all my friends and those on TV. Where they love and care for their children. Why can't I have a family who loves me, for me. I may not be perfect, but....oh they wouldn't care either way.

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AN: Hey fans, thanx for your reviews for chapter 1. I felt inspired by your persuasiveness that I'm working my very best on chapter 2. But sorry if you have to wait awhile. Oh, and this, I just wrote this when I was in a sad/bad mood. So it might not be THAT good, so sorry. But don't worry I'll make it up to you guys with chapter 2, ok? Until then...^_~


	3. Unforetold Feelings Chapter 2

Unforetold Feelings ****

Unforetold Feelings

Chapter 2

By Mystical Tenshi 17

Hey y'all did you read A Pain That Would Never Be Forgotten? Well, it doesn't matter anyway. It's just a side story so if you want you could read it or else just continue with this. Enjoy ^. ~ and tell me in the end if it's good or not. Give me some suggestions.

'Do anything to help' That rang in her head over and over 'Why would he want to help? And why am I here anyway?' Serena stares into Darien's eyes with uncertainty. "Darien, just get out of my way." She said firmly. 'It's a mistake that I came here' "No, Serena, not until you tell me what's wrong." He states with the same firmness. "Nothing is wrong so let me go." Serena said once more, annoy and determine. Serena takes a step forward and tries to go through once again, but she couldn't. Darien is blocking every possible way of escape. "Don't give me that, Serena I know you..." Darien starts, but was cut off roughly by Serena. "Know me?!! Let me tell you this. You don't know a thing about me. No one does!" She screamed, anger flares in her eyes as it exist clearly edged in her voice.

"Serena.." he whispers her name. 'What's wrong?' He starts again, " Even if as you say I don't know you that much, I do know know this. Serena your are hurting. You're in pain. And don't you dare deny it. The tear stains on your cheek is clear enough." 'Serena seeing you in pain is breaking my heart. I still care about you a whole lot even after the breakup.' "I'm fine."" she said though not sounding that sure herself now. ' Oh God, what's wrong? I want her to be happy. I want her to be safe.. I want to protect her. But it seems to be .....should I just allow myself to show my love this one time. She seems so hurt, so vulnerable?'

'I really need to get out of here. This was clearly a mistake.' Taking a step forward once more, she decides that the only way she is going to escape is to resort to violence. Serena takes another step forward and tries to push his hands away. But they just went back to place. 'Why does he care? Why is he always this stubborn? Why is he trying so hard , he said that he doesn't love me anymore? And yet why did I come here after all that/' By this point Serena is frustrated and just wants to get away. Being her with him is bring back painful memories.. Memories of their first date, first kiss, their first fight, and.. and... their breakup.

Ever since she was little she felt neglected, unloved. Her parents hate her. They don't even acknowledge her existence. And they seem to care less of her feelings. All these years, she's been building up strong resentful and hurt feelings toward her parents, people, family, and the world. Though she tries to hide it. She didn't want people showing pity for her. All she wants is for someone to love her. And she thought, she finally found one. She thought if she loved Darien and that he would love her too. At first it seemed that he did. She was finally a bit happy that she was born. That if she can't have love her parents, that at least she could experience it with her boyfriend. She was so content that at least she could have a little love. But he took everything back from her, when he broke up with her and what killed her the most was his words. 'I don't love you anymore, or at least in that way.'

Serena narrows her eyes, clenching her fists. "I'm warning you, move." But Darien didn't move an inch. He stood his ground. 'That's it' with her fist clench. Serena swings it back then forth. With great forces, it connected to his cheek.(right) With his face forced to his right, he slowly gradually turn his face back straight, facing her. Though his expression seems impassive, his eyes are set in determination, blazing. His cheek is a little swelling, turning red, but he didn't care.

This got Serena even more fire up. She went forth with another punch. This landed on his jaw. Her irritation grew, she went for another strike, but Darien caught her wrists. Struggling to free her right, she tried to punch him with her left, but to no avail. He soon got possesion of her left too. Struggling to free both her hands, Serena yanked and pulled screaming with frustration. In tone, Darien held onto her tighter.

Then Serena felt herself being pulled forward. Darien is pulling her with the hold of her wrist. Serena tries to fight it, but he has the upper hand. Soon she felt herself being pulled into an embrace. "Let me go! Let me go!"

Darien did let go. He let of her wrists, but not her. He hugs her and pulled her toward his chest. "Serena, please let me help you!"

With her wrists free, she started pounding on his chest trying to get the rest of herself free. " I don't need your help, ,so let me go!" She screams. She keeps on her pounding. Hit after hit after hit. Her arms soon grew tired, and her muscles ache. But she kept on going, though her strikes aren't as forceful as before. "No, I will never let you go!" 

"Let me go! Why the hell do you care anyway?" 'Should I be honest with myself and her? Who cares what the dreams said, I love her and I won't let anything happen to her. Those plagues won't come true. I won't let it. I will protect her with my life! "Serena, I do care. I care because I love you." He said; his voice with love and his eyes-his deep endless sea blue eyes-were filled all the love he had for her and hope. Hope that they can't get through this.

'What?!' Serena looks up at Darien. Looks into his eyes. 'Is he lying? Is this some kind of joke?' Her expression was shock, but not her friends. Now she was more confused than ever. Should she believe him? Should she love him back? She doesn't even know how to react anymore. Should she be happy about this? She doesn't know? "What... Darien...?" He just smiled his warm smile and repeated it over again for her. "I love you, Serena." And with that he slowly bent down his head to hers, slowly giving time for Serena, if she wants to pull back. But she didn't, she didn't know what to do. She was frozen in her position. He continues in his path, closes his eyes, and bent down- now all the way-and kisses her. He gave her a sweet and gentle kiss on the lips. Then in a short while, he pulled back. He looked at her.

She felt him kiss her, but she didn't respond. He didn't stop his kiss though. then later, he gradually pulls back. She is too confused. At this point, Darien is not holding her in a tight knot grip. Serena looks at Darien straight in the eyes, and raises her hands and places it upon his shoulders. His expression soften, as though he thinks she has accepted him again and let him help. "Darien..." she breathed and then pushes him away. He took a step back leaving more than enough room for her to leave. He was caught off guard when she pushed him back

She takes her chance and ran. She hurriedly ran away from there. She need to get away. She ran and ran. She could feel that Darien is behind her, trying to catch her. "I'm sorry" she whispers, a single tear went down her cheek as she made a sharp turn into another street and into an alley. She hides behind a dumpster and sees Darien looking around and passes by going on with his search. She got up and went back out and heads in the other direction.

To be continued....


End file.
